Reconnecting with Yourself
One of the things I hear most from my clients is that they feel they can't trust themselves. They've lost touch with the inner voice — the wise one within who anchors us in knowing what's best for us. Whether it's a relationship, a career change, or any major life decision, the disconnection so many women feel from themselves runs deep.
It often begins early. People-pleasing evolves into putting others' needs first, and slowly fades into a place where we forget who we truly are and what we even want. We're so conditioned by what's expected of us that we lose touch with what feels real — with what feels authentic to who we are now.
Why we abandon ourselves
The beauty of this work is that it's actually quite simple. So many of the things we hide from ourselves are revealed through the body. As a somatic therapist, I can often sense when there's a dissonance between the words my clients are saying and the expression on their face, or the way they're holding their body as they speak. They're trying so hard to make their mind believe something that they forget the truth they already know.
Why do we do this? Because change is hard. Change is stressful, and you’re already running on empty. But it's also stressful to live out of alignment with yourself — to know in your heart that you're on the wrong path and stay on it anyway.
Reconnecting is a gentle, compassionate process. There's nothing about it that needs to feel harsh, and nothing that needs to feel profound. It's more a sense of deeper relief, a sense of safety. Through this work, we become able to make decisions more clearly, to align ourselves with the values we hold in this moment, and to notice the parts of us that no longer fit.
The body knows
Sometimes we get so focused on the why — on understanding what went wrong — that we become lost in the forest of our own intellect. Somatic therapy offers a way to quiet some of that mental chatter by bringing awareness back into the body: noticing where there are chronic places of tension, and what they might be trying to tell us.
But this is so much more than simply scanning the body, as in a meditation. This is activating that knowledge — taking it off the meditation cushion or yoga mat and bringing it into your life. It's getting a felt sense in your body when you're about to make a decision. How does this option feel versus that one? Does it feel expansive and spacious, or tight and constricting?
Once we can access the wisdom of the body, intuition flows more clearly. We feel more connected to our nervous system, moving through the body rather than the restrictions of the analytical mind. Through this work, we connect not only to our bodies for the sake of physical health, but to a deeper sense of knowing — a clearer sense of internal guidance, and the ability to be more aligned with the synchronicity and magic of the world.
A small practice to try this week
The next time you're facing a choice — even a small one, like whether to say yes to an invitation — pause before you answer. Picture saying yes, and notice what happens in your body. Does your chest open, or does your throat tighten? Does your belly settle, or does something brace? Then picture saying no, and notice again.
You don't have to act on what you find. You're simply practicing the language your body has been speaking all along — beginning to trust yourself again, one small signal at a time.
An invitation
I created Reconnecting: A Somatic Workshop for Women for exactly this moment — for the woman who senses the disconnection and is ready, gently, to come home to herself. I'd love to hold that space for you.
Emily Heard is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and somatic therapist in Berkeley, California
